From fifteen on I lived the life of being in drugs and alcohol and sleeping around with guys, trying to find self-worth, fulfillment, and satisfaction. After living in another state, by his grace, God moved me back to Tennessee to attend college. My freshman year was crazy. I was assigned to a dormitory room with three Christians. I thought, “What in the world? These people are so weird. They don’t want to go to parties with me and do the other stuff I’m doing. I don’t understand them.” Even though they reached out to me, I still continued the lifestyle I was living. I was going to fraternity houses, partying, and flunking out of school. I was still unhappy and very broken. The one B I received in one of my classes kept me in school.
My sophomore year I met a guy named Paul. Paul was on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ. Our personalities were alike. He asked me tough questions and pushed me to think. He asked me about my view of God. My immediate answer was, “I don’t believe in God.” I was taught that evolution happened and that no God was a part of that. It’s kind of stupid to believe in God.” He continued to ask questions and suggested, “Let’s meet again, and I’ll tell you what I believe.”
We sat down, and he told me that God created us, loves us, and wants to know us personally, but because of sin, we are separated from him. God sent His son to die for us, and that’s how we can get connected with Him. He then explained that we can’t merely know these things, but we must personally receive them, understand them, *repent, and invite the Lord into our hearts. No one had ever told me that. For some reason it just made sense. Knowing that God had sent His son to die for me and that He knew all the things I had been caught up in, and that He loved me without me earning his love was so freeing and liberating. I did what he suggested.
After that my life has looked completely different. I haven’t been in the party scene and doing all the wrong things I did before. A change in my behavior is great, but the greatest change is in my heart toward God and now loving people. I now find my confidence in him. He is my Lord. He is where I find my worth. I know He has plans for me. The dramatic change in my life that occurred in my life is amazing. He has now called me to full-time work as a missionary. I have come from partying being my lifestyle to working with and sharing the same love of God with Muslim people in Northern Africa. I know it’s going to be an amazing, beautiful thing. I’m so glad He has made beauty from my ashes.