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I tied fishing wire to the rifle trigger.

I had loaded the rifle and put it on the coffee table. I had a fishing line tied to it.


In the past I was the party guy that could make everybody laugh and grin. I could make jokes, but after the alcohol took a certain affect on me over the years I became a person nobody liked. People turned against me. Nobody wanted to be around me. I didn’t even like myself.

I had told my wife that I was going to kill myself. I had loaded the rifle and put it on the coffee table. I had a fishing line tied to it. She and my brother, next door, called 911. I didn’t go through with it. The police came and took me to Moccasin Bend [Mental Health Institute] for a psychological evaluation. They found nothing wrong with me, mentally. My only problem was alcohol addiction. I had to tell God, “God, this is bigger than me, and I can’t do it myself.” I begged God to help me.

Work from churches is something that I hardly ever got. I felt maybe it was an act of God that I was called to paint the front of a church. When I looked inside the church building there was an aroma, or I call it the Spirit. There was something about the church that brought me back to my upbringing. It reminded me of the church that I attended when I was a child, before I got into alcohol. Something told me, and I know that it was God. The Spirit was telling me, “Boy, you need to come here and visit and hear the sermons.

I asked that pastor, whom I didn’t know, If he would meet me there the next day. He met me there, just he and I, at the altar. We stayed on or knees for about an hour, until I felt that God had a hold on my life, and that he was promising me he would help me, if I would do my part. God has helped me. Through his grace I don’t have the desire for alcohol. It used to be an automatic turn signal when I drove by a liquor store. No more! I don’t even think about it. I don’t even look anymore.

In my previous marriage we had about sixteen grandchildren. They had given up on me. They had just about completely exited my life. The last three years it’s been a totally different situation. We have good times together. We fish together with the grand kids. Now, my son doesn’t mind if the boys go with me in the car. It’s different, a lot different.

Robert - I tied fishing wire to the rifle trigger.

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