When my wife left me I started using drugs. I started shooting methamphetamines, pain pills, whatever I could get my hands on I would do. I just hated myself. I wanted to die. I wanted to commit suicide all of the time. I knew there was a God but I kept running from Him. I knew the Bible. I didn’t really believe in it.
I got jumped and had three broken ribs in two places. They put a chest tube in me so I was in ICU for nine days. I get out of the hospital two weeks later and I go to sell some dope to a friend of mine named Tyler. Well, he had robbed somebody while I was in the hospital. I was there about ten minutes and heard a big bang there at the door. I don’t know the guy but he came in with the intentions of getting his stuff back, so to speak, from that guy, my friend. I stood up for Tyler and said; “Why don’t you leave him alone?” That got me involved right then and there. I was part of it. He demanded his gun back. Told him he would pay him back whatever it was that I got for them, (Fifty bucks), and also took a 40 caliber. He had two guns, a 9mm and a 40 caliber. We left the hotel room after he had the guns and he clicked them together and said; “Guns are in play”. We go down Springplace Road about twenty or thirty miles out in the country, in the middle of nowhere. He lined us all up when we got out of the truck and searched us. He lined us up and said; “Whoever runs first I’m going to shoot.” He told Tyler to come up first. He tried to take off running. He shot him three times in the back while he was running, about fifteen feet from me. I could see when he fell, blood pouring out of his mouth. He had the gun pointed at me next and asked R.L., (the guy that came with him), “Now what are we going to do with his body?” R.L. was like; “No, don’t kill him. He ain’t going to say anything. Don’t kill him. He ain’t going to do anything.” Then I said; “Look, I’m trying to get my family back. I don’t want to die. Man, what happened was between you all. I won’t say anything.” He said; “If you say something I have a hundred thousand dollars and I will put that on your head. If I can’t get you, I will get your family and I will kill your brother Marcus. As a matter of fact, if you go to the police I am going to tell them that you did it and everybody here will back me up.”
After they had wrapped the body up, they put it in the trunk and made me drive the car. I had to drive the car with my friend's body in the trunk so I knew if I didn’t do exactly what he said, he would kill me. What they ended up doing was taking me and R.L. and dropping us off at a hotel room. They gave me forty dollars to rent the room and a half of an eight ball of dope to sit there.
He got arrested and told them that I shot him. Ten days later they arrested me, finally. They charged me with accessory after the fact of first-degree murder, tampering with evidence, a conspiracy of tampering with evidence, sale & delivery schedule II, sale & delivery schedule III, aggravated robbery, assault with a deadly weapon, and attempted carjacking.
So when I got locked up I had to do five months in solitary confinement. I kept telling the Lord; “Why are you talking to me?” (I could hear the Lord speaking to me. He was speaking to my heart). I said; “I ain’t got nothing to say to you. If you loved me then why did my family leave me? Why did my wife cheat on me? Why did I lose everything?” I had a lot of hate and anger toward God. I had hate and anger toward somebody I didn’t even really believe in. I said; “Why do you want me?” He said: “Because I love you.” It was like I had never heard it before in my life. All I can do to describe it is that it was like a warm blanket came over me and the addictions that I had, the hate, the pain He took it from me and I can’t describe it any other way but like a warm blanket coming over me. All this time I had satan still trying to get me. He was still trying to tell me; “You’re going to prison for the rest of your life.” I was sitting there thinking; no, God knows I am innocent. I know I’m innocent. So, I had a comfort even though I was listening to the lies, I was comforted by the truth. The truth has set me free. I said; “The Lord said in Proverbs 17:15; Two things that are abominable to the Lord are condemning the innocent and acquitting the guilty.” I said; “I know I am innocent and so does the Lord.” I said; “I’m here. I did make a mistake. I shouldn’t have been selling drugs. I’m sorry about that but I cannot say that I am guilty of this. I cannot.
So, I stood firm in the Lord. He said; “Be still and I will literally fight for you. Hold your peace. Be still and know that I am God.” Exodus 14:14 & Psalms 46:10. These were two scriptures that I hung onto. Slowly but surely I did twenty months in Bradley County jail. All of my charges were dismissed, every one of them. Everything you do in the dark will be exposed. The light will bring it to the surface. Their lies got exposed while my story which was the truth kept the same. It never changed. I stood on that. I knew the truth wasn’t going to change.
He’s freed me from drug addiction. He’s freed me from suicide. He’s restored my life completely. I have full custody of my son now who I didn’t see for three years. What’s amazing is just last week my son, he said; “Dad, I just want to tell you, (he is five), he said; “I just love God so much! I just can’t stop saying it. I just love God!” It’s the best thing I could ever hear, knowing that my son loves God so much.
You are the God who loves me,
The Father’s only begotten Son.
You gave your life on Calvary so in Heaven I could have one.
No one made you do this.
This choice was all on your own.
You stretched out your hands on the cross,
The purest form of love ever known.