Find Hope

I’d do anything to feed my addiction.

I’m the reason they put the cables through the leather coats at Sears. I’m the reason they lock the razors up at Walmart. I’m the reason new clothing has security ink tags. I had to have a way to feed my addiction.


I started stealing. I would go to Walmart. I’m the reason they put the cables through the leather coats at Sears. I’m the reason they lock the razors up at Walmart. I’m the reason new clothing has security ink tags. I had to have a way to feed my addiction. We were partying all night long, and my daughter would come and rub her hands on my legs. She would then have so much energy. It hit me that the residue of the cocaine was on my clothes, and my daughter was getting high off the drugs I was doing. I realized, “I gotta change.”

I was standing at my job watching my machine as it was running, and I thought, “My life sucks. I can’t do this anymore.” I stood there and said out loud, to my self, “I gotta change. I’m gonna go to church Sunday and give my life to Jesus.” I had enough gospel in me because of my dad being a minister that when I said that fear came upon me that the Devil had heard me. I feared he was gonna try to kill me. So, I thought, “I’ll just do it right now.” I started to say (pray) it out loud right there. I said the name of Jesus and suddenly there was a tap on my shoulder. It was my foreman. He said, “Your name came up in the computer. It’s time for your drug test. Well, I knew at that very moment I wasn’t going to pass the drug test.

They took me into the office, and gave me my little cup and sent me into the bathroom. I stood there for a moment and said, “I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna lose my job. God, I’m not doing this because of this drug test. I was gonna do it out there by my machine, but I’m telling you right now, I’m giving my life to you. From this day forward I’m gonna serve you. I’m gonna be all out for you. If you want me to have this job you’ll fix it, but if not, I’m gonna live by faith. I’m gonna do whatever I have to do, but I need your help.” So, I gave my heart to Jesus right then. I turned around, left the restroom, and gave the foreman my cup. He laughed at me and said, “I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.” He knew. They didn’t like me there because drunks and potheads don’t come to work, and I was one who was in and out of work.

A week or two before that happened I had come into the break room and said GD. A minister who was present corrected me. It infuriated me. There were probably fifteen to twenty people in the room. I pushed him against the potato chip machine, drew back my fist and said, “Don’t you ever correct me again. You are not my father. If you ever correct me again I will kill you. Do you understand me?” I pushed him away and walked out of the break room.

After accepting Jesus and taking the drug test the first thing that came to my mind was finding the minister. I knew they would always sit on the bale of fabric and have a bible study in the back of the warehouse. I found him, called his name, and said, “I need to talk to you.” He said, “Okay, what do you need?” I said, “I owe you an apology.” He said, “What for?” I said, “Well, a couple of weeks ago I threatened you and pushed you up against the potato chip machine. I just give my heart to Jesus, in the break room.” He just shouted and said, “Glory to God. We’ve been praying for you for months.”

So they called me into the boss's office, which is the plant owner’s office. The owner was there. The plant foreman was there. My foreman was there. All the shift foremen were in this room. They sat me down in a chair, and it kinda freaked me out, like, “What’s going on?” The boss looked at me and leaned over and said, “I don’t know how you did it.” I said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said, “I don’t know how you passed that drug test, but you did.” I stood up, something on the inside of me clicked, and I said, “Thank you, Jesus.” He said, “Thank you, who?” I shouted, “Thank you, Jesus.” He had never heard me say anything about Jesus unless it was a cuss word. I said, “Thank you, Jesus. Jesus passed that drug test. There’s no way I could have passed that drug test.” Then I thought to myself, “Whoa, that was stupid. I shouldn’t have said that.” From that day forward I was sold out for God. I did everything I could do to serve God.

Tom F - I’d do anything to feed my addiction.

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