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My debauchery destroyed my marriage.

I started asking questions of some friends of mine that I knew were in church, like; “Really what’s the point of existence? What’s the meaning of life?”

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Looking back, I believe I led our home down a tragic path. Alcohol, partying, drug use, sexual sin and just basically really any kind of immorality and debauchery you can think about, I believe I brought into our marriage. I had grown up in a home that was very active and involved in each others lives. Very loving but it was mostly Godless. My Dad grew up Jewish. My Mom grew up in church. Neither one was practicing in their faith. And we weren’t either. I was Godless. I wasn’t an atheist. I think I believed that there was a God out there. I don’t know what I believed. But leading up to that, I started asking questions of some friends of mine that I knew were in church, like; “Really what’s the point of existence? What’s the meaning of life?” I would get answers about Jesus and stuff like that. But it really made no sense to me. But it was Easter Sunday where I had been to a presentation of the gospel, a dramatization of the gospel. I saw Christ praying in the garden. I saw Satan tempting him. I saw him carry the cross. I saw him up on the cross. I saw him resurrected and it was glorious. It brought me to tears and I don’t know why because it didn’t make sense to me at the time. I didn’t know that story at the time but I’m convinced that the next day that all of that kind of came together. I drove off by myself to this empty parking lot at this broken down school and I just sat there. I was gripping the steering wheel and I don’t know where the words came from. I had no knowledge of the Bible. No knowledge of God. No knowledge of how to be saved. I just started talking to God and said; “I can’t do this anymore. I’m lost and I’m empty and I want more.” Just sitting there in that parking lot with my hands gripping the steering wheel, I turned it all over to Christ and somehow knew that Christ was the answer. I can’t really describe or explain how or why that came to me. I don’t know how I even knew what to say or what I said. It just came out and just a rush of emotion, pain and that was it. I really can’t explain it. When we sat down as a couple to kind of split up our stuff to prepare our divorce papers, I had been to a church, a local church on Easter Sunday. While we were sitting there at the table a visitation occurred. They came and knocked on the door. I stepped out on the porch. It was three gentlemen from the church that were just coming to say hi because I had visited. You know how churches around here do. They said; “Well, how are things going?” I said; “Not too good. My wife and I are actually getting a divorce and we are inside splitting up our stuff.” I just instantly saw their compassion. We talked a little bit more and they basically said; “Is there any hope of reconciliation?” I laughed at them and said; “No.” Before they left they said; “Can we pray for you?” I don’t even know who these gentlemen where. I never met them again that I know of. They basically bowed their head and said; “Will you pray with us?” I said; “Sure.” They specifically asked God to heal my marriage, to restore our marriage. I believe their prayers were answered. I believe God honored those prayers of the faithful unbeknownst to me. It’s just powerful to think about. Since, we have gotten very active in church together, as a couple, as a family. It was July 17th when we reconciled in 2000. September 21st just two months later we got pregnant with our first child, Andrew. Now I have two children and I just believe that those two children, after trying for four years unsuccessfully to get pregnant and going through what we went through, that they are just a living symbol and representation of just God’s amazing, amazing grace.

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Sean - My debauchery destroyed my marriage.

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