Kevin left work at 1:30. The lady that was the drunk driver was taking her friend home. She was driving so badly that she was scaring her friend. They made her pull over. There were people following who were less intoxicated. One of them drove the rest of the way to her friends' house. When that person got out of the vehicle they didn’t turn the vehicle off, take the keys or anything and she climbed over into the driver’s seat and drove away. She got on highway 153 at Jersey Pike on the wrong side and drove over 4 miles, almost hitting three other people before she hit Kevin. He had a gash down his face. His eye sockets were even broken. He was just very badly broken.
I heard the words as I was praying come out of my mouth; “God I forgive her for what she’s done to our family.” In my head I was thinking; “Wait. What are you saying?”, but in my heart, I knew this is what I had to do to be able to get my prayers answered because the bible says if you have anything against someone you forgive them, and then your prayers will be answered. I couldn’t afford to not forgive. I had family members that were very upset with me for that, but at that point, it wasn’t about them. It was about me and my relationship with God, and it was about Kevin. At that point, we started going through the process of making the decisions for organ donation, which was a very grueling, intense time.
I left the hospital without my son.
We started the court process. All the family was able to go in this room with her, sit across from her, and tell her our feelings and what her irresponsibility in getting behind the wheel intoxicated had done to our family. I showed her pictures of him in the hospital, pictures from the wreck. I played audio from one of the voicemails that I had saved from Kevin.
He just loved friends, family and having fun. That was his main thing; “Let’s have fun.” He had actually even gone to the bank. He was going to start his own gaming cafe because he wanted a place for kids to be able to come and have a safe place to play and hang out. (Just two weeks prior to his wreck.)
I looked at her and I said; “The main thing I want you to know is that I forgive you.” I heard God say to me; “Offer your help to her.” For ten years prior to this, we had been in prison ministry teaching people how to change their lives and how to be able to walk their life out with God. I’m having this conversation with God in my head, like; “Really God? Seriously?” He said; “Offer your help.” I said, ”Okay;” So, I looked at her and I said; “I would like to be the person to help you to be the person that God created you to be and to find out who that is if you’ll let me.” She shook her head, yes that she would like that. Then God said; “Now go hug her.” I thought, “Wow, this is really really stepping out there.” I thought; “I’m going to be obedient. Because if I’m obedient God can do way more with this than I could ever imagine.” So I asked her, “Can I hug you?” She shook her head (yes). We got up and walked toward each other, and we hugged. We just hugged, cried, cried, and cried. She just kept saying over and over; “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I was one of the ones that spoke for her at her parole hearing. I started my speech (what I wanted to say to the parole board) with; ‘I’m guilty of murder too. The person that I killed, His Father forgave me and welcomed me into His family. So, who am I to not extend that same forgiveness to her and forgive her? That person was Jesus. I’m responsible for His death, and His Father forgave me, loved me, and accepted me as family.