Find Hope

Feared death and hated blacks.

"When I gave my life to Jesus he started dealing with the fears I had. Other things started changing as well. And I found that what once was an object of hate became an object of compassion."


While in South Africa, I grew up under the Apartheid Regime. When I was sixteen years old, one of my best friends was killed in a freak motorcycle accident. His wheel was caught between the pavement and the sidewalk. His bike fell over, and he hit his head against a lamp post. He got up, righted his bike but couldn’t get it started. He then went to a nearby house to ask to phone his parents. He called his parents, hung up the phone, then passed out and died. Although he was wearing a helmet, he had sustained a head injury in the accident and suddenly died of a brain aneurism. That shook me to my core. I was completely horrified that somebody my age could die. It brought home the reality that I could die also. I thought, “My gosh. I thought I had this whole life ahead of me. He had his whole life ahead of him.” He was one of the most amazing young guys that I knew. I started fearing death. I became so scared that I could die at any moment. That birthed something inside of me that made me very, very fearful. I would lie awake at night freaking out that I was going to die at anytime.

During one of our breaks, we were invited to a classroom, and a girl came up to me and said, “I’ve got a great gift for you. Would you like to receive this gift?” That gift was receiving Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. I said yes. I prayed with her and gave my life to Jesus. My viewpoint of this life and how we live life on this earth changed. When I gave my life to Jesus, He started dealing with the fears I had. Other things started changing as well, and I found that what once was an object of hate became an object of compassion.

Where I was born and where I grew up, I was taught and trained by my family, by my friends, by my associates, how to be a racist. One day we were robbed. My father immediately told me it was black people that did it. It struck me that I had lost all of my toys and personal possessions because black people had come in and stolen them. I felt like I had been violated. That’s when hatred started being birthed into my heart towards back people. I hated them for invading my life and my privacy. The hatred was fueled by my society and my family who continued to push for that, only to find out that it wasn’t black people that broke into our house after all. It was syndicated white people that did it.

We need to understand that God is no respecter of persons. He doesn't respect persons from the point of view of where you come from, who you are, where you’re at. He loves you. He’s going to bless you. He’s going to touch your life. He provides salvation for you. He’s not a racist.

Mark - Feared death and hated blacks.

More Stories view all 488