I was into partying. I was completely into the Hollywood life. I was ending marriage number three. My life was a disaster. I was the operations manager for at post-production facility. We did shows like ER, West Wing, The X-Files, Millennium, The Practice, Ally McBeal. We did very high-end shows. I had to attend events where I danced with Kiefer Sutherland, from the TV series 24, and with the entire cast of NYPD Blue. We were always with Jimmy Smits, dancing the tango on the dance floor. We could party it up very well. I was constantly with stars. I was never a person to get star-studded because I had them around all the time. It was a fantastic, fun life, but it had no substance.
All these people look so good. They have such high positions, and everyone just worships the ground they walk on. Then they go home and they’re just as empty as I felt. It was very sad to watch the reality happen. In that environment, there are a lot of drugs, alcohol, and sexual disasters among everybody there. It was a very dark place to be once you get passed all the glamour and glitz.
I thought, “God’s gotta be done with me now.” Now I know that God is a loving God that never gives up on us. Other people give up on us. Spouses give up on us. Kids even give up on us. God never gives up on us. Finally, once I had created every possible mess I could create, which you wouldn't believe how many, I finally started hearing from God again. He spoke very strong words to me, saying, “You know, Georgina, you’re my daughter, and I love you more than anything, and you’re always welcome back.”
When God spoke to me, I left my career to be a stay-at-home mom. I left all the glitz and glamour and all the supposedly wonderful things. I started completely over, but with God in my heart this time. Slowly as my development and my relationship with God was growing, there was this peace that would come over me. Joy came back into my life. The guilt I had felt for so many years was like carrying a backpack full of rocks, and every year it was more, and it grew heavier and heavier. That's what kept me from God. It was the guilt.
I had to work at not allowing Satan to come back and remind me of all the garbage I had done after many years. The guilt was still coming back. I would have nightmares of some of the horrible things I had done. Finally, I experienced the reality that God is a God of mercy and grace, a forgiving God.
I don't know where you're at right now in your life. I don't know what you've done, but I can assure you that can be in the past. God forgives you. He gives you a completely new slate, and you can start over today.