My grandfather was one of the ones who would go to church and act like he was holier than thou but he was taking me to a dark room and molesting me as a little girl. I thought, if there is a real God out there, then why is this happening to me? That’s how I felt. My first book came out in 2016. I have been on Good Morning America, 20/20, ABC, Doctor Phil, Doctor OZ. My grandfather was one of the richest men in town, which is my moms’ dad. He owned a whole bunch of West Virginia, not just in the Princeton area, Montcalm and different areas. He had his own car lot and his own gas station. He was very well known. What I don’t understand is that people want to look at the poverty level of abuse but it goes on in higher levels too just not as much.
My mom suddenly needed money because she was a stay home mom having affairs while my dad was working three jobs to bring in a lot of money. She started prostituting, not only to other men but prostituting to her own dad. Then the question came, my grandfather wanted me and Teresa (my sister). So, my mom started prostituting us out to my grandfather for money. I never thought she didn’t love her kids. I think she didn’t know how to love because her dad warped her mind. People say, “Well, how did you turn out normal?” I think people have different personalities and things affect people differently. It also has to do with the relationship you have with God.
I was ten years old, I was sitting in the back seat of my moms little Rabbit, car. She was picking up one of her clients from downtown Princeton from the bar that she would pick up to prostitute. I was terrified of this man. I remember sitting in the back that night and I prayed. I said, “God, if you are real, I don’t want this man to show up.” I knew that that was one client who always showed up and if mom was late, she took a beating. He didn’t put up with that. He never came out. My mom got mad because she needed the money so she sent people in looking for him. He never would come out. That was the last time we ever saw him. I told God that night, “I will serve you for the rest of my days.” I have not been perfect. I have messed up a lot of times but I do love the Lord and I do pray a lot. I do my best to live right. That’s where my journey started with God because before that I felt like it was all fake. Here I was going to church every Sunday and my mom’s prostituting. My parents are divorced. I am beaten all the time. I have lived with a lot of secrets that tortured me and made me lose a lot of sleep. I have had nightmares that nobody knows about. Since my parents’ death I have been able to get a lot out and I have written my book. I have seen a big difference in me because I have been able to release all of that that has been built up in me all of those years.
In 2015 I was asked to co-author “Resilience in the Storm”. There’s a little story behind that. I remember being sixteen years old and I was praying at the altar in a church of God in Bristol Tennessee. I was balling and I was praying, “God, why is this happening to me? Why does my life have to be like this?” I was just hollering out. This little old lady that didn’t know me, she didn’t even know my name, walked up to me and said, “I don’t know what you’re praying. I don’t even know who you are but God said that one day you are going to write a book and make a difference in other people’s lives about your story.
When I got asked to co-author that book at fifteen, I was actually on my way to church in Cleveland Tennessee. I was at a red light and I was stunned. I was like, wow! Because it brought back that memory. That’s how I started writing.
People were reading my book. It was selling like crazy. People were reading my book and I was getting a lot of feedback like, “Wow, this inspired me.” You’re asking what changed me. It was the first time I was on Doctor Oz after my first book. A little girl wrote me. She said, “You inspired me so much that I was able to go tell about my dad sexually abusing me.” That meant a lot to me because I thought, wow, that’s why the Bible talks about our testimonies and it is important to tell because it brings a lot of people out of bondage. My story that I once thought was trash and didn’t mean anything and here I am on T.V. telling it because everyone wants to hear it, I looked at it a whole different way after getting that message on Facebook. I thought, wow, I just made a huge difference in this little girls’ life. That’s why I continue to tell my story.