Find Hope

Lost my house, job and BMW when I sampled a little something to ease the pain.

Within four weeks, I had lost my husband, my house, my job.


And so, when my third marriage failed, (I had four children by this time) I had just lost all hope. I ran out of pain medicine one day at work and was introduced to heroin. And it was game over after that. Within four weeks, I had lost my husband, my house, my job. I was a sales director for a steel building company. We were very well off. We didn’t really have to worry about money. I lived in a very nice home. (A three bedroom, two bath home). I drove a BMW. He drove an Expedition. I walked away from the four children that loved, needed and depended on me. I was in and out of jail. I became homeless and a prostitute. For a few years, all I did was sell myself out to the street for heroin.

One evening in November, I was prostituting and I had dealt with a few of these men, a couple of these men before. They picked me up. There were three men. They drove me out into a sugar cane field. They beat me up. They raped me and they decided that they were going to get rid of me. So they were arguing about how they were going to do it. They had me at gunpoint and the next thing I knew, they were pouring gasoline over me and telling me that I was going to burn to death. I begged them to shoot me. I just wanted to die and get it over with. I didn’t want to burn. All of a sudden it got silent. I laid out in that field for about a day and a half.

A man on a tractor came up. So, he allowed me to make a phone call. I called an acquaintance and they came and picked me up. I had been staying behind a gas station, right behind a dumpster. This acquaintance of mine who I thought was a friend at the time, told me that they could no longer condone my behavior and that I had to get help. So they dropped me off at this gas station. I stole some rope out of the gas station and went to the back of the gas station into the bathroom. I hung myself.

The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital. Once again, I blamed God. I didn’t understand why I was still alive. At that time, I was so scared and so helpless and hopeless. Of course, I had warrants. They ran my name and when I finished my stay in the hospital, the nurse came to me one day and told me; “You have to go to jail.”

I’m hearing voices. So I start beating on the glass door. One of the deputies comes over and I will never forget this. She says; “What is it Suarez?” I said; “I’m hearing voices. I’m going absolutely crazy and I need to speak to a doctor. Please help me.” She said; “What is it that you are hearing?” And I said; “These aren’t the plans that I have for you.” She opened up that jail cell door and she said; “You look at me!” She points her finger in my face and she says; “That’s God’s voice you’re hearing and what I want you to do is I want you to reach out to the first person that comes to mind.”

Now mind you, I had not spoken to my family in years. It had been six years since I had spoken to my Father. But the first person that came to my mind was my Mom. She never accepted my calls from jail. But I reached out to her and I called her collect. She answered the phone and the first words that she said to me were; “God told me last night that you were ready.”

I had to finish my jail sentence. There was a decision at the end of that. I could either, go back to the streets and continue to do what I was doing or I could come to Women at the Well.

I was up in a prayer closet one day and I said; “God, if you are who you say you are, you’re going to have to show me a miracle.” As I got up off of my knees, I looked down and there was a Kleenex box and on the Kleenex box it said; “Expect a Miracle.”

Every since that day, God has just shown up and showed out. He has restored my family. My Father who I had not spoken to or seen in six years, I got to go spend my three-day pass with him. My Mom is so proud of me, she tells me that she sees Jesus in me. I have communication with my kids and I graduate on Father’s day weekend.

This is the best gift that I could give my family. This is the best gift that I could give my Dad. Most importantly, my Father in Heaven is proud of me and to be able to celebrate that on Father’s Day weekend is very special to me.

Wendi - Lost my house, job and BMW when I sampled a little something to ease the pain.

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