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From Drugs to Hope, Machine Gun Preacher’s Wife Tells Her Story

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Why did God let the love of my life die?

Overcoming pornography and fantasy.

Drove my drunk Dad home at age 12.

My control of women stemmed from something deeper.

The bullet is still in my head.

Daddy pain.

Behind the homosexuality was a person.

Headed to abortion clinic just after recommitting to Christ.

I embraced her after she killed my son.

Matt Damon played me as an FBI Informant.

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Former racist and Black Panther.

A Buddhist for 25 years until I had a vision of Jesus.

Unloved by my husband ... and God.

Dad's affair at church left me bitter.

This thing inside me screamed, "No, don't pray!"

Volcano erupted as we prayed by the crater.

He loved me through the sexual abuse—then suddenly died.

Very rich and very addicted.

Long hair and guitars are of the devil?

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I'll open this dictionary and ask God to give me a word.

Who was the greatest rabbi who ever lived?

When the preacher said Jesus Christ, I thought he was cussing.

Traveled 360 miles a week for two years to fix my gambling addiction.

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NFL role model living a double life.

Forgiveness set me free.

Thought partying would make me happy.

Curled up in my closet to escape, but found purpose instead.

Found freedom in prison.

My atheist jail mate started reading the Bible.

Barely escaped Tornado disaster.

This amputee mows fields and rides horses.

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Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

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Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

So this lady asks to hold my hands and pray in the parking lot.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

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Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

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Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

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Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

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Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

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A radical lesbian, consulting the dead—my new life moved beyond all that.

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I had sold my body, but God called me a virgin.

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I was the watchman for athlete-cheerleader trysts.

Even my fellow drug users said I was in trouble.

I’d do anything to feed my addiction.

Asked God to kill my husband.

The sex addiction began at age 15.

I knew I didn't have what it takes.

My debauchery destroyed my marriage.

From corporate jets to food stamps.

Dad said no to my cowboy dreams.

Jesus told me to quit the drugs and raise a godly infant.

Shoot out with the police

A stroke ended my dental practice and my adultery.

The spirits I channeled entered and exited.

I tied fishing wire to the rifle trigger.

My Dad was the Evel Knievel of the neighborhood.

Felt the bed shaking as I cried out to God.

The doctor said I will be an albino.

Declared dead on arrival.

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Winning an NBA ring with Dr. J was not my greatest moment.

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My Father survived Soviet persecution for being a Christian.

My first girlfriend to say no was an atheist.

I shut down my yoga commune.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

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Dad confiscated my marijuana.

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Spent years pondering my sexual identity.

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Feared death and hated blacks.

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Consulted a fortune-telling prophetic book.

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Before turning to God, I got on my knees and asked Satan to grant all my sexual desires.

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Social services removed me from our home.

Dad disowned me for going to church.

Lost my job and almost my wife before admitting the problem.

Escaped from gangs and machetes.

Confused kid. Part of me enjoyed the sexual abuse.

Football, parties, girls. Everything I needed.

Old fashioned preachers and mind control.

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Prisionero político en el campo de refugiados.

Addicted to a relationship.

Met my "Dad" at 13, but God became my real Dad.

Mocked, illiterate, then taught myself to read and write.

Mom knew the "fatal" wreck on the radio was me.

The 666 woman put a curse on my stomach.

From home invasions and gangs to a solid citizen.

No one used to trust me with their dog. Now I teach 6th graders.

An abused boy must prove his sexual manhood.

From a 4200 sq ft lake house to an RV.

My estranged daughter called from the hospital. I arrived drunk.

Verbally Abused.

Feeding the ego is an addiction.

Realized I had an egomania problem.

Healed from the secret life that started at age 13 .

My Jewish roommate blew my mind.

My father disowned me for getting baptized.

From starting NFL quarterback to cut and humiliated.

Elite job. Elite family. Still insecure.

Organized a week long drunk with my friends.

Five divorces by age thirty.

Found in a bathroom at two days old.

Followed my brilliant brother into atheism.

Thankful to not be rubbing snakes anymore.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

The music kept me from suicide.

My adultery with a pastor led me to God.

Because I said a prayer I thought I was saved.

Doctor said I might not be able to sing again.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

I pointed my rifle at the black people and prayed.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

Methhead who wanted to die, but my boyfriend’s Mom wouldn’t let me.

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Combat in Iraq continues at home

My Grandmother tried three times to abort me.

I told my secret to everyone.

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Was I being trafficked?

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My speech impediment led to mocking, thoughts of suicide.

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Some go to counseling. I jump over cars.

From homeless immigrant to MBA graduate and homeowner.

When Dad is a Bible expert and a criminal

I needed more than the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame

I overcame a white trash upbringing.

When Mom showed up at my meth trailer

Facing death from the needle.

The fall of the towns most powerful man.

Dealing for the mafia at age 15

Lost my right arm just before the NFL draft.

80 miles, 80 pushups on my 80th.

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I wanted to be happy like them.

My boyfriend's biker gang threatened my baby.

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