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Hope
I realized it was me. I was the one that had the problem. That was the first step in getting the help that I needed.
That night I was gang raped by five men. I was so ashamed and so embarrassed. I felt like it was my fault. I blamed myself and I didn’t want to tell anyone.
Carrie prostituted herself for drugs. As a registered nurse, educated and articulate, she never expected to go so low.
"I would stab myself with a sewing needle. Or any kind of needle. Just to feel that pain. To know, you're still here. You're still human. You're still alive in some way. To make that pain, just show what I felt on the inside....
I remember begging her; “Just let me die. Just let me die. I mean, just leave me alone and let me die.” Praise God! She told me; “I can’t do that.”
So, I had a glass of wine and I got a buzz. I thought; “This is pretty good.” I was immediately addicted.
"It’s those little things right there that show me that true restoration has taken place."
"I was trying to fix the hurts that were in my life by just numbing them. It wasn’t working. I knew something was wrong because I was ready to kill myself."
I completely gave in to the depression and I gave into the addiction. I became homeless. I lost custody of my sons. It was then that I cried out to the Lord.