"While I thought that they were special things, my husband at the time found that journal and thought it was really weird, really strange, and told me that I was really weird."
I stopped paying my bills. All my money went to alcohol, smoking, and things that are not healthy. What I was going to do at night became more important than going to school. I almost dropped out of school. I lost my job.
My brothers and I were separated. When we came back together in our parents home it wasn’t any better. There was still a lot of abuse going on, so I moved back out the spring semester my senior year.
But I couldn’t escape the idea that suicide would be a good escape. It was like I was holding on the casket of my wife, and as morbid as it sounds was like I was being buried. I remember picturing myself breaking my grip with...