It was when I was doing drugs and I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. They were stealing some things. Well, I started thinking how I would do this and I could be good at it. The more I could meditate on it the more skilled I became in how to steal things and how to get away with it. It became such a surge for me; such a drive to be able to steal something right in front of somebody’s eyes at stores and everywhere I went.
I never paid for gas. I never paid for my food; not even at convenience stores. I didn’t pay for the cokes I got. I would steal cases of beer at time, leather coats, my Prom dress. I was always scheming a way to steal anything and everything from stores. I just loved it. I loved the thrill of stealing things and getting away with it. I felt like, “My parents won’t buy me anything, so I’ll get it myself.” I would steal makeup, clothes, shoes, anything and everything.
Right before I came to the Lord I was considering how to steal a car. I thought that would be really fun. After I came to the Lord I remember the first time I paid for a coke and it was so hard for me. I thought, “Oh, my goodness, I have to pay for things now. Wow, this feels different.”, but I said in my heart I would never, ever steal again. I knew it was wrong.
There was that drive in me to do those things. I loved it. It gave me energy. It gave me a thrill, but I wanted God more than I wanted that. I had to keep putting that to death, so to speak. I kept turning it away in my mind when those thoughts would come to me.
New ideas would come into my head of how I could steal things. I would think, “Oh my gosh. That is a brilliant idea.” Then I’d say, “No. No. No. NO!” I just kept telling myself, “No, NO!” Honestly, that’s what I did. I turned away from it again, and again. I kept serving the Lord, and God began to show me how to give to others. I just turned everything around; “I’m not taking anything anymore.” It was a process of denying myself; dying to temptation again, and again. Now, you couldn’t pay me to steal something. It’s not even in me at all - zero. It’s not even a temptation at all anymore.
Out of his goodness and kindness God been has so good to me. That was just a different person. That’s not who I am anymore.
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