Really, I wanted to die. I was doing all the things that were killing me anyway. I had so much pain, hurt, and hatred I didn’t know how to process any of it.
They took me to the dessert out in Tucson, AZ and tried to make me dig a hole. They were going to bury me in the hole. So I told them; “Kill me and dig it yourself.”
When my dad was struggling for his life, he went out into the yard to put himself out and the neighbors came to help extinguish the fire. Dad wanted to pray. Dad wanted to pray for my brother.
We have a phrase in Spanish that translates in English as, “If you live by the sword, you will most likely die by the sword.”, or, it could be “...you will die by the gun.”, whichever is your weapon of choice.
By the time I was nineteen, I was extremely bitter, angry, volatile … violent. I had become a kleptomaniac I was addicted to stealing everything around me. I was heavily on drugs and had really pushed everybody out of my life...