When God spoke to me I left my career to be a stay-at-home mom. I left all the glitz and glamour and all the supposedly wonderful things. I started completely over, but with God in my heart this time.
It became a vicious cycle of doing cocaine to stay up all day sot I could work and then doing heroin to sleep late at night.
"I really wanted to call him and say, “I’m sorry for what I had done.” Months earlier if you’d asked me I wouldn’t have admitted to have done anything wrong."
All you really have is love and that’s like all you have to give. There’s nothing else out there. Everything else is fleeting.
"I never realized the God that they serve is not the biblical God. The reason I didn’t realize it is because, as a Mormon, I never read the word of God."
They took me to the dessert out in Tucson, AZ and tried to make me dig a hole. They were going to bury me in the hole. So I told them; “Kill me and dig it yourself.”
I realized it was me. I was the one that had the problem. That was the first step in getting the help that I needed.
People disappear all the time and nobody would have ever known what happened to them. It was my intent to kill them for what they had done to me.
It was just terrible. So I’m taking the medicine and I am correctly diagnosed but I’m still not really feeling any better. I’m not free from this bipolar.