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Hope
"I would stab myself with a sewing needle. Or any kind of needle. Just to feel that pain. To know, you're still here. You're still human. You're still alive in some way. To make that pain, just show what I felt on the inside....
I don’t know what it was. There was this flame inside my stomach just boiling over.
I’m the reason they put the cables through the leather coats at Sears. I’m the reason they lock the razors up at Walmart. I’m the reason new clothing has security ink tags. I had to have a way to feed my addiction.
"I started my speech to the parole board by stating; ‘I’m guilty of murder too, and the father of the person I killed forgave me and welcomed me into his family. So, who am I to not extend that same forgiveness to her?"
We used to sing a Kirk Franklin song called “Lovely Day.” The song is about being down and not feeling good, but there is a new day, lovely day, because we’re going to be with God. We sing that song, sometimes at our church, ...
“You’re going to end up like your father, a bum on the street, a loser, an alcoholic.” As a kid, growing up hearing those things hurt me. I thought, “Man, after everything I do for you, this is how you love me.”
Really, I wanted to die. I was doing all the things that were killing me anyway. I had so much pain, hurt, and hatred I didn’t know how to process any of it.
I remember of walking on a bridge in New York City, hearing an evil presence. As I looked over the edge of the bridge I heard a voice say, “Jump. It’ll be all over.”
My Dad said; “But son, were you water baptized?” I said; “Yes I was Dad.” And he said; “Jeff, you’re not my son anymore. What you have done to your people, you are worse than Adolf Hitler.” He said; “You are no longer welcome...
I was realizing that more of my identity was wrapped up in the NFL and in quarterbacking than in who God says I am, my worst moment of life converted to my very best moment of life in a matter of fifteen seconds.